Too Much Information

This was difficult to write only because there is an embarrassment factor, but I know I’m not the only one. At least I hope. :) I’ve since cured myself from this curiosity and have learned to let some bygones be bygones.

We all do it. Some of us have only done it once. Some of us do it once in a while. Some of us have just one. Some of us have many. We do it in the privacy of our own homes and would never divulge our secrets to our best friends. But, how many of us are willing to fess up and admit that we are guilty? Guilty of Googling. It’s snooping and spying for our generation.

It started so innocently. It was like when you have a box of chocolates and you take just one. And before you know it, you have taken another. And before you know it, you have eaten the entire box. You just couldn’t resist! All you wanted to do was just see what he was up to. Was he listed in the alumni pages for a job promotion? Did he move? Did he get married? The last is the source of what cured me of this snooping thing for good. I knew I shouldn’t have been doing it, but it once you start, it’s difficult to self-restrain.

It was a random summer Saturday night and for some odd reason I was home alone, bored, and surfing on the Internet. (Yes. Me. Shocking, I know.) I took my Googleing one step too far on this particular evening. While perusing a wedding website for the registry of another friend, I got this bright idea to enter a certain someone’s name into the registry search. I knew there was no way his name would show up. I mean, there was no way he was getting married any time soon. It was unfathomable! Our biggest issue was his lack of time for me and the fact that there were just too many priorities before me on his list.

Well, my eyes almost popped out of their sockets!!! Much to my chagrin, he indeed was getting married. On that very day. That very night. I couldn’t help to think that at that moment, as I sat there in a daze, all alone on a Saturday night, he was off having the time of his life at his wedding. It just wasn’t fair! Not that I thought we were meant to be together – at least not anymore. But he wasn’t supposed to be happy! He was still supposed to be regretting that he gave up the best thing that he ever had, not finding someone new, moving on, and starting a life together. If anyone deserved to find someone, it was me!

Well, if I’ve learned one thing recently, it’s that life is not fair. Yes, I’ve known this for a while, but for some reason it’s still hard to accept when these things happen. I also learned that you have to make the best of what you have, roll with the punches, and move on. Focus on the good already in your life, and look forward to the good that is yet to come.
So after I vented and ranted and raved, I moved on and decided that some things are best left unknown. Operate in the present and concern yourself only with the people in your life who truly matter - they are the ones deserving of your energy.