Hope

“Hope is a good thing - maybe the best thing. And no good thing ever dies.” How remarkable that these wise words were not imparted from the mouth of a great romantic novelist, but from the horror authority, Stephen King. Despite the nature of their source, these words are relevant in the romantic facet of life. In the life of a single woman in search of love, there are a lot of necessities. Above all, you need to love yourself and be secure in your identity. You need to have a life that is fulfilling, challenging, and filled with the love of family and friends. You also need to have a lot of strength! A jungle is an understatement for the arena of the dating world. From no callbacks to bad first dates to cheating partners, your ego and heart are on a platter – out and exposed and easily susceptible to bruising or breaking. A sense of humor is indispensable. In a world where truth is often stranger than fiction, if you don’t laugh, you just might be reduced to tears. There is no other option when you’re approached by the guy still asking, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Taking this all into account, your quest to find love can only be sustained with the last essential element, hope.

Enter stage left: the “hope guy.” What is he? One who gives you reason to believe that what you actually desire in a man exists and it is out there. He may not have all you are looking for, but he serves the purpose of exhibiting some quality highly valued. Who is he? One whom you do not, or cannot, have a romantic relationship with due to time, space, place, or circumstance. You might have had some sort of association in the past be it a relationship, or less, but that is not a stipulation of reaching “hope guy” status. Where is he? Just about anywhere in your life. Perhaps he is in your inner circle of friends or in one of your extended networks. Why is he…necessary? Important? Healthy? For that wounded ego of yours, he is the motivation that you are healing for a valid intention. Maybe it is his affinity for your Sunday afternoon rituals of football and the Metro section. Or it’s his penchant for the dusty aisles of your local bookstore. Maybe it is a shared passion for Italian culture or for your common faith. Or it’s a similar sense of humor. Perhaps it’s the intensity of the chemistry between you that drives your desire to absorb every ounce of him that to not be in his physical presence pains you. Or possibly a conversation that lasts until sunrise. His ambition to succeed. His ability to make you feel at ease. Regardless of the reason, he reminds you to be optimistic. In the sometimes tumultuous meantime, hope helps you endure.

When you identify your hope guy, or guys, do not become complacent. (Yes. You can have more than one. I have two!) Keep your life full as you continue to search for the love you deserve, but remember to stay realistic. The love of your life does not come made to order, but those admirable traits you are searching for do exist out there, so settling is not an option. So in the meantime, continue to hope and hopefully your hope guy will one day be replaced with your love guy. Hope and love are good things. And remember, no good thing ever dies.