Questions and Answers

In the midst of all these Hollywood make ups and break ups, I sometimes wonder, is it all worth it? Then, I look to my sources of true inspiration, those a part of my network of friends and family, and remember why it truly is. Away from the glitz and glamour, relationships are allowed to grow, develop, and flourish, without the piercing and prying lens of the microscope.

Being a single woman in her mid to late 20’s you often get bombarded with questions about the status of (or lack there of) your relationship. “When are you getting married?” “Why aren’t you married yet?” “Are you dating anyone?” “Why not?” It’s as if some of these people forget what it is like. It’s as if because you want something it is supposed to magically appear. They also seem to forget that there is a screening process. Just because you are not dating anyone doesn’t mean that you are a hermit or have one foot in the door of the convent! If you are anything like the ladies I know, you are meeting lots of guys, many who lack the quality you deserve so they fail to make it past square one.

I’ve never been the “boyfriend girl” so it didn’t occur to me until talking with a friend that those of us who are single and dating someone also feel the pressure. “Do you think you’ll be engaged soon?” “Where will the wedding be?” “Do you think you’ll have kids?” Slow down! Just because you have been with someone a substantial amount of time doesn’t mean you are sure or ready for the next level of commitment. Why settle if you are not certain? Why rush when the only time frame that matters is the one that allows you ample time to make the right decision about who will share your future?

In addition to the inquisition, you also are bombarded with a barrage of advice. Some good. Some not so good. A lot of people tell you to enjoy and experience your youth. While it might sound cliché to do these things to better who you are and make you more aware of yourself, there is some truth and value to this. When else in life will you have the chance to travel the world, sleep in late on a Saturday, or stay out until 4 am with your best gal pals. You don’t want to enter a more settled phase of life without having maximized all there is to experience in the phase where you are.

You must have lives as individuals before you can have lives together. How can you share a life if you have nothing to bring to the table? How can you build a life if you have no foundation of your own?

So to all of you left in my single, twenty-something boat, enjoy the fact that you can experience life, make mistakes, try again and repeat until you finally get it right without the watchful eye of the camera. Relish the fact that you will have lived the life you desired to live and become the person you needed to become in your own real world. And as for the questions, answer them by making your decisions with confidence and owning the fabulous life you have established for yourself.