Faking It

I am one for asking the tough questions. So ladies, when it comes to the men that we meet, are we just faking it? I’m speaking in terms of our relationships, or however else we choose to define or classify the experiences shared between a man and a woman (“dating,” “seeing,” “talking,” “hanging out” – you know how complicated it can get!) Time and time again, single girls go out on the town, or go to the gym, or go to a party, or go to a wedding. Time and time again, we meet different guys with different jobs and different interests. So at what point does it actually become about that guy and not a guy? At what point do we stop acting as if our feelings are genuine when we are merely fulfilling needs with someone who could easily be replaced with the next need filler? When do we put aside the rose and jade colored glasses? When do we see the frogs for being just that…frogs and not the princes we so desperately wish them to be?

Some of us give some Academy award winning performances to convince our friends, our families that he has potential and that our situation is much more than it really is. But maybe we are just trying to convince ourselves. Pretending that this person paying us attention has proven himself worthy although he has done little more (if that!) than one of our best guy friends would have done. Some of us are driven by fear – the fear of letting go or the fear of loneliness. Some of us are driven by boredom – something is better than nothing. Some of us are driven by our need for attention – being somewhere on someone’s priority list rather than not on a list at all. However, this is dangerous territory for our emotions. Somewhere along the line our emotional wires get crossed and before long we have created a fantasy that doesn’t exist. We find ourselves frustrated, letdown, and worse off than we started.

Although it is easier said than done, keep your perspective. Choose to be driven instead by hope and the good things you deserve. Focus on paying yourself attention and filling your life with the real and beautiful things life has to offer. Remember that just because he takes your number doesn’t mean he will call. Just because he holds your hand on your way out of the bar tonight doesn’t mean he wants to hold it in the park tomorrow. Just because he says the right things, doesn’t mean they are true things. Be true to yourself. Settling should never be an option. It’s just not worth it.