Contingency Plan

I’m tired of having a contingency plan. A worse case scenario plan of attack for how I’ll negotiate my feelings and heal my broken spirit when the best laid plans of a given situation goes awry. It is exhausting to prepare for the downward spiral, but with the lack of honesty and abundance of inaction, it is a necessary evil to soften the blow of a bruised ego. Because even more exhausting and draining than creating an escape route for your emotions, is the reason for having to do so in the first place. If we could simply be more honest with each other or at least not say something we do not mean or mean the things we say. I am fully aware that sometimes things change, people change, and feelings change. While that isn’t the easiest situation to handle and can provide its own share of pain, it is the honest situation to handle and that I respect. I’m waiting for the one who will be honest enough to admit that rather than leaving me to figure it out on own because I’m tired of waiting around for someone not to call. I’m not asking for detailed explanations or even excuses, just a simple yes or no will do. But in the meantime, in this world where inaction speaks volumes louder than action, you have to do what you have to do to cope. To survive. Until you’re strong enough to exist without it.