Goodbye, Twenties!

1/12/10

Dear Twenties,

It seems like only yesterday I was introduced to you. We started our relationship together with a party so legendary that people still talk about it today. And that night, as I slept off that Three Wise Men shot, I dreamt of our next ten years together, of the life depicted in movies and reinforced in real life. The life in which a few tumultuous single years are followed by love, marriage and a baby carriage. However, you had other plans for me. Plans that would challenge me to suck it up, grow up and challenge me to embrace and retain that child-like wonder. Plans that would show me the richness and fullness of my life just as it was. It didn’t happen overnight and it certainly wasn’t easy, but anything worth anything is never easy!

Those early years together were the most tumultuous with the most extreme highs and lows. The freedom of college allowed for new experiences and opportunities. I recall fondly the thrill of staying out until sun up after dancing the night away, not just one night but sometimes three in a row! However, I cringe when I think of many a night in which the outcome was an alcohol induced tear fest in the bathroom over someone not worth my tears. Twenties, how could you?! You let me handle my first heartbreak in such a tragic manner! Looking back at the girl I was then, I don’t know if I would want to hug her or smack her! I guess you knew I needed to get it out then because that wouldn’t be a good thing at 29. And eventually, you helped me find better ways to cope. You taught me that it was okay to open up. You’d brought me such amazing friends because you knew how much I would need them. And while I was still a tough cookie to crack and hadn’t yet learned the art of being less of a control freak, I was working toward that.

As we moved into the murky middle of our time together, we started anew. New job. New city. New start. I was embracing my life as a single city girl and loving it. But of course, you had to rock the boat! You had some challenges in your back pocket just waiting to test me. I was living my fabulous life of celebrity hot spots, expensive, designer jeans, and twelve dollar cocktails without a care in the world, when one day, I looked up and noticed what I was missing. Where was my doting husband and adorable curly headed child? Wasn’t I supposed to be a homeowner by now? I mean, my designer jeans were fabulous, but they couldn’t give me a back rub after a long day! And all those twelve-dollar cocktails were delicious, but they couldn’t put a roof over my head. I asked myself these questions repeatedly and, Twenties, they fell on your deaf ears. But you knew I needed to learn that this time wasn’t my time for those things. I still had a lot of living and learning to do on my own before I could trade my lifestyle for strollers and strip malls.

The last few years with you often felt like the first few with the highs and the lows. Time had given me a career I loved and valuable friendships. Those sustained me when, again, I was faced with a major disappointment and questioned where I was and what I wanted. Through it all, I learned to release some of my control and allow others to be my strength. And with time, you allowed me to stabilize my shaken confidence and restored me to a place of peace. As our time together wanes and I prepare to meet Thirties, my hope is that I’ll be able to recapture the joy of our glory days together, armed with the knowledge from all of my battle scars!

So Twenties, thank you for your memories, your lessons, your joys, your pains, your triumphs, your trials, your brightest days and your darkest hours. Without them, I wouldn't be nearly as strong, nearly as confident, or nearly as ready to embark on the next adventure called Thirties. You will be missed, but take comfort in knowing I am excited to get to know Thirties. And even though our relationship didn’t bring us love, marriage, or the baby carriage, it was best that you didn’t. You knew I wasn’t ready. I now know that things are exactly as they are supposed to be even though they are not the way I anticipated they would be. I appreciate you for allowing me to discover just that.

Farewell. It’s been real, but I’ve only just begun!

Love,

Me