Why I Bother

This is based on a culmination of many experiences over many years with many (not too many!) individuals.

In a sea of familiar faces in the room, my eyes pass over the unfamiliar. Gazes lock and linger for that extra second and sparks fly across the room. When our paths finally cross, it’s as if there is no one else in the room. I sit close, but I want to sit closer as if to absorb all that is his essence. He’s so close that when he speaks, his breath tickles my neck and sends tingles to my toes and butterflies to my stomach. Words fill time and space, and somehow, unbeknownst to me, the mere exchange of information becomes a playful banter and he somehow finds an excuse for his hand to graze my arm. He pushes my hair behind my ear and the seconds seem like minutes as I anticipate the impending kiss.

This…is why I bother.

In spite of all the half truths and whole lies in the past, regardless of the unreturned phone calls, and although I’ve been plagued with several shady encounters and open-ended endings, I still bother. It’s because of these fleeting moments of stolen glances and fluttering hearts that I continue to hold on to the hope of what could be. Because in those first magical moments exists the potential for chemistry and interest to blossom into something much more meaningful. You never know. And that’s why I bother.