Life in the Girl Lane

A thirtysomething's perspective on life, love, and everything in between.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Like It's 1998...

I wrote this in my journal when I was eighteen years old and ending my high school days and preparing for college. I love that my predictions of a bright future have come true and that I experienced so many more great times with those people even until this day. And even though it is nearly ten years later, I'm glad to know I was right about something! So to you who have known me the longest and saw me through those high school years (and beyond), this is for you with lots of love!


Where all the time has gone is beyond me. I’m really enjoying these last few days with my friends. As I think over the past years, I have learned valuable lessons about friendship. And for some reason all those bad times are forgotten. The good times definitely outweigh them. I will be eternally grateful to all of my friends for their love and support and for helping me become the person that I am. Thins will never be the same again. I really believe that I am no strong enough to face the world. It is not an end, but a beginning. The beginning of a bright future with many great things to come. I am so appreciative of the times I have shared with the most wonderful people. I’ve seen how we’ve each grown and matured and changed together. I realize that what we have is special. I never will forget all of the moments. It is those little things that count. They are what made it all worthwhile. Because of it all, I am a wiser and stronger person. I really am going to miss it. I’m going to miss each and every friend and how they make me feel special. I’m going to miss everything, but I have so many good memories. I’m glad that I have met so many wonderful people. I feel honored to call them friends.

Stay tuned for more flashbacks...


Why I Bother

This is based on a culmination of many experiences over many years with many (not too many!) individuals.

In a sea of familiar faces in the room, my eyes pass over the unfamiliar. Gazes lock and linger for that extra second and sparks fly across the room. When our paths finally cross, it’s as if there is no one else in the room. I sit close, but I want to sit closer as if to absorb all that is his essence. He’s so close that when he speaks, his breath tickles my neck and sends tingles to my toes and butterflies to my stomach. Words fill time and space, and somehow, unbeknownst to me, the mere exchange of information becomes a playful banter and he somehow finds an excuse for his hand to graze my arm. He pushes my hair behind my ear and the seconds seem like minutes as I anticipate the impending kiss.

This…is why I bother.

In spite of all the half truths and whole lies in the past, regardless of the unreturned phone calls, and although I’ve been plagued with several shady encounters and open-ended endings, I still bother. It’s because of these fleeting moments of stolen glances and fluttering hearts that I continue to hold on to the hope of what could be. Because in those first magical moments exists the potential for chemistry and interest to blossom into something much more meaningful. You never know. And that’s why I bother.