A State of Thanksgiving

Once again, it is that time of year where I reflect on all of the many things for which I am thankful. My blessings are abundant and I simply cannot complain. Naturally, I am thankful for life itself. With its ups and downs, joys and disappointments, and everything in between, to experience each of those elements, to feel each of those emotions, that is to live. And while I am always and forever grateful for my family, those who have always believed in me, my potential, my dreams, and my success, it is those that I call friends that I think of the most at Thanksgiving. Those who contribute some unique perspective that makes my life rich, full, and beautiful. With each year that passes and the days and the moments that make it, I discover new reasons to be thankful. Here’s what I am thankful for this year.

I am thankful for friends both old and new.

I count myself fortunate to have friends in my life who have known me for nearly two decades. People with whom I’ve grown up, even after we were already grownups. Those who appreciate me for the ways in which I’ve stayed the same while also embracing how I’ve grown and changed. I am equally as fortunate to have new friends that have joined my life. Friends that I can’t believe I’d lived without for so long. Friends who may not know or were not there for the origin of my ideas, feelings, and opinions, but understand them just the same.

I am thankful for friends both near and far.

I am so blessed that no matter where I am in the world I can hold my friends in my heart. Though distance may separate us, I am thankful that they are only a plane ride, a phone call, or a text message away.

I am thankful for friends who are a part of my every day and those who are there every day I need them.

I can’t imagine what I would do without the friends who are around to meet up with for an impromptu shopping trip or a weeknight dinner - to swap stories about the details of our days, to vent about work, or chat about everything or nothing at all. And while I wish all of my friends could be around for those every day moments, it’s comforting to know that when I things feel like they are falling apart or I need a voice of reason, they are there.

I am thankful for friends who love me when I’m fabulous and love me when I’m flawed.

I am thankful for the friends who are there when I have it all together – when life is effortless and fun. When times shared with friends includes lots of laughs sprinkled in comfortable silence. But even the strongest, most confident woman has moments where she makes mistakes. Where she’s less than lovable. How thankful I am to have friends that love me anyway and ride through the storm with me.

I am thankful for friends who care enough to tell me honestly what I need to hear and those who care enough to withhold information they fear will hurt me.

I’m thankful for friends who give honest advice. Friends who are willing to tell me when they think I shouldn’t make that phone call and when they think I should. Friends who are there to give me the support I need whether it’s a kick in the pants or to dust me off when I’ve stumbled. The friends who will thoughtfully sift what they know when they believe it’s in my best interest.

I am thankful for the friends who share in the good times and encourage in the bad.

Friends who can celebrate the successes with me on one day and see the silver lining in my cloud for me on the next.

So with my heart filled with thanks, I say a sincere thank you to you, my friends. Thank you for serving an immeasurable capacity in my life. Your friendship is much appreciated today, and throughout the year.

The Math of Relationships

From our earliest experiences with basic math, we learn that one is a whole, zero represents nothing, and fractions represent this world in between. And because of these facts, a whole is greater than a half and a half is greater than nothing. But relationships are different. They are complicated and have their own set of constantly evolving rules which make those basic math rules null and void. Although in relationships, I’ve discovered the mathematical statement that is as absolute as the conventional rules of math.

Zero is equal to a whole and a half is greater than both.

Confused? Well, think of it this way. In every relationship, there is a critical point where a decision must be made. A choice can be made to end the said relationship or to wholly engage in the said relationship. These equal and opposite acts require exerting the same amount of energy, just in divergent directions. However, the energy required to walk the line between those two worlds, to balance at that critical point rather than choosing a side, to half attempt a relationship, far surpasses the energy exerted in choosing to forgo or fully commit to a relationship. In other words, the half is greater. Greater. Bigger. Harder. Grayer. More strenuous. More confusing. More unnerving.

Not that being in a relationship (or out) of a relationship doesn’t bring its own set of challenges. But those are the challenges that are anticipated, expected, prepared for. The rules are much clearer, more plain, in black and white. To be in means you stake claim, you have a right to input, and you are a factor. To be out means you hold no stake, you have no right to input, you aren’t a factor. All. Or nothing. To be halfway there means you may stake a claim, but you may not and you don’t talk or can’t talk about if you do. You may have some input, but it may fall on deaf ears. You aren’t a factor, but may think that you are or wish that you were. You are caught in the abyss of gray, hazy, and unclear.

Like with every good math lesson, learning the rule isn't enough. Knowing what to do next is just as important. How do we know what to do next? Well, again, math conventions prevail. Know your own limit. Make a plan. And don't be afraid to make mistakes. After all, that's why we use pencil. There's no mistake in math, or life, that can't be corrected.